What's on the Inside?

The massive oak tree lay strewn across the lawn of the stately house.  For years the wounded and now chopped tree had kept its deadly secret hidden from human eyes. Internally it was rotting away eaten by disease or some other slow moving virulent insect force. Now it’s inner secret was exposed for all to see. I stopped to take some pictures as the stricken tree interrogated me.

Is my life like this tree?  I may look strong on the outside, but inside am I hollow and eaten away? What is eating away at me inside?  Have I let  bitterness over a small slight eat away at me?  Am I carrying around  childhood memories of school or home that I have never confronted?  Sure  I’ve been blessed  with a great family, friends and a a wonderful career.  Yet here I am. I have to check to make sure my insides are not rotting away.  Have I truly forgiven that which I felt was unforgivable or  are the tentacles still decaying on the inside, burrowed deeply within my emotional core?
If someone could send a camera to my emotional core would the person be shocked at what was going on inside of me?

I pray to God that my heart, my emotions and mind  will be free of the decay of any form of bitterness or malice. May I be as healthy internally  as I appear on the outside.

A Poem added after the original post

Innervision

If my soul were on display

I wonder what my friends would say.

Oh my, I thought she had more within,

But her inner holiness is oh so thin.

The outward form of her is warmly bold,

But, the inward part is skinny and cold.

She looks well put together on Sunday Morn,

But inside she is raggedy and torn.

She speaks of love and heaven oh so well.

But her soul is filled with thoughts from hell.

Dear God my soul is on display

God, You see my thoughts both night and day

Please change me Lord my soul renew

So that my interior is aligned with You.

Author: Patricia Simpson Newton

Just Enough

“The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” a book written by Marie Kondo sold millions of copies around the world. The popularity of her book also spawned a series on Netflix. Ms. Kondo developed a method to help people get their lives back in order after they have acquired way too many material possessions. I call this show on Netflix “Hoarders Light  designed for Millenials.”

In this Netflix series we see people’s uncurated collections of clothes, books, magazines, and other personal items which have taken over their lives. Instead of bringing happiness the owners are frustrated and overwhelmed by all their stuff. Marie uses her KonMari method based on Shintoism, an Eastern religion, to develop a way to part with items.

Just watching the show caused me to think anew about my propensity to continue to collect things I really didn’t absolutely need. I thought back on my own experience when I sold my Seattle home. I had to reckon with my brain on so many levels. I had things I would probably never use again in life. I knew it was time to let go. However I had to be stern, steadfast and  even brutal with my heart to part with many things.

I’ve asked myself why did I wear myself out to accumulate so many material possessions? I can tell by the closets in older homes that people didn’t always feel that they had to have closets the size of some people’s living rooms. Over consumption is a problem, at least here in the United States. The explosive growth of the storage facilities industry is a testament to this problem.  To be transparent I downsized from a 4,500 square foot home to a  5X10 storage room.
I didn’t get depressed I got free!

Over my life’s journey I’ve learned:

It didn’t matter how many homes I may have owned.
I could only occupy one house at a time.

It didn’t matter how big my house was.
I could only be in one room at a time.

It didn’t matter how many vehichles I had in my garage.
I could only drive one at a time.

It didn’t matter how many shoes were in my closet.
I could only wear one pair at a time.

It didn’t  matter how much food I had in my refrigerator.
I could only eat so much at a time.

Solomon made a simple request to God, “..Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.”1.  I am wondering if this isn’t the key to happiness  and another way, if I may borrow from Marie Kondo, “to spark joy.”

Parting Thought

I want to be more like the Apostle Paul who said, “Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” 2.

1. Proverbs 30:4    NIV
2. Philippians 4:11 Message Bible

Still My Prayer in 2019

Dear God,

May I have a life of devotion, 

not just a time of devotion.

May my life be consecrated, 
not just a time of consecration

May I have a Sabbath heart, 
 not just a Sabbath Day.

May all my resources be at your disposal,
 not just a tithe.

May all my time be sacred, 
not just a time for God.

May I have a worshipping heart, 
not just a time of worship.

May I walk in the light of Your love consistently,
 not just in my dark times.

Help me to endure my dry spells, 
for I do not have a dry life.

Remind me that you are always in control no matter what may rage around me during this enduring walk of faith.

"Begin with the End in Mind" Happy New Year!

A few weeks ago I was on my way to my brother and sister-in-law's house to meet them. We were going to ride together to church in New Jersey. I turned off the main thoroughfare of Stenton Avenue on to Ivy Hill Road. The road comes to a T where one has to make a left or right turn. What makes it necessary to go left or right is the immense Ivy Hill  cemetery. As I was waiting at the red light I looked at the row of headstones and the stately mausoleums.  The thought came to me that at the end of everyone's earthly road this is what awaits us. We will all have a face to face meeting with death. However it is while we are alive that we make the decision on which direction to go when we meet eternity.

It was a sobering thought.  I pass these silent sentinels, witnesses of my mortality frequently in Philadelphia. This is an old city. Graveyards are ubiquitous. They remind  us that our earthly journeys are short compared to going to our long homes which are forever. Yet some of us spend more time contemplating what we are going to wear or what we are going to eat than our eternal destination.

Yesterday my heart was deeply saddened to see the news report of three young people, two of whom had just finished participating in Philadelphia's 2019 colorful Mummers' Day Parade.   On their way home they were tragically and instantly killed in a car accident when another driver crossed the line and hit their sports vehicle.  Twenty six hours into the New Year they were immediately gone.

I am thinking of the late Stephen Covey's book,  The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. The first habit is to "Begin with the End in Mind"  This is January, traditionally a time for new beginnings. I can begin again with the "..End in Mind." My question to you and to myself is, "Am I sure that I know what the next step is when I face that end of life's road"  I feel certain I can answer in the affirmative. Can You?

 ".. people are destined to die once,.."

Hebrews 9:27

P.S. If you would like to know my plans you can ask in the comments section of this blog or contact me at tricianew12@gmail.com

Tricia's Principles for Living -Take 2: Being Thankful in Smelly Places

Tricia's Principles for Living -Take 2: Being Thankful in Smelly Places: My pet peeve misophonia, literally "hatred of sound",  was given this name in the year 2000.  It's a condition in which nega...

Being Thankful in Smelly Places

My pet peeve misophonia, literally "hatred of sound",  was given this name in the year 2000.  It's a condition in which negative emotions, thoughts, and physical reactions are triggered by specific sounds.  Chewing ice, snapping  and popping gum, slurping liquids,  and a whole range of other sounds drive me up a wall.  I’ve tried to live with the vexation these sounds bring me.  I realize that I can't always have things the way that suits me. I have to learn to deal with discomfort.

Today a lot of us have been blessed to have things the way we want them. We have cushy pillows, firm mattresses, hot and cold running water, electricity and heat for which we do not have to stoke a furnace or chop wood.  Our food is plentiful.  Our surroundings are pleasant to spectacular.  If  we visit a city and don't like one hotel we can go to another that meets our requirements.  Things have not always been this way. There is no guarantee that things will always be this way.

Contrast this with the New Testament's Apostle Peter in Joppa. He had been ministering day and night to the needy and preaching all over the place. Each night he went back to his five star accommodations with his bottles of Perrier water and five star meal surrounded by his  entourage. You might be wondering is that really the way he traveled?   It's not true.  He had none of those luxuries.

You would think that after his miraculous ministry he would have been invited to the best homes.
Peter did not  have a nice hotel or any inn that welcomed into their rooms.  However what we do  read is that ," Peter stayed in Joppa for some time with a tanner named Simon." *

"Tanning is the process of treating skins and hides of animals to produce leather. A tannery is the place where the skins are processed. Tanning hide into leather involves a process which permanently alters the protein structure of skin, making it more durable and less susceptible to decomposition, and also possibly coloring it." The dead animal still have to be warm for tanning to be successful.  Before tanning, the warm  skins are unhaired, degreased, desalted and soaked in water over a period of 6 hours to 2 days. Historically this process was considered a noxious or "odoriferous trade" and. relegated to the outskirts of town." ¹

Think about this. Peter was used to the smell of fresh fish. Now he is staying with Simon, on the fringes of town  surrounded by rotting things. We never hear that Peter  complained about the privations with which he dealt on a daily basis. Comfort was not his goal. His goal was service to God. This was carried out by being involved and living with those around him even in a smelly place.

 As we enter this thanksgiving week let us remember  the secret to being satisfied. "..And having food and raiment let us be therewith content"  Even if that is in  serving or living among others in smelly uncomfortable places as we seek to serve God and help others.   Yes it's taking a while,  but I am slowly learning  to be thankful for my good hearing as I deal with my misophonia.

Happy Thanksgiving!

1. Wikipedia
*Acts:9:43
** I Timothy 6:8

Do You Need to Make a U-Turn?

Before I started driving I double checked the address I'd entered into my GPS.  A sterile woman's  computer voice guided me along the road.  Actually I knew where the road was located. I just wanted the device to let me know when I got to the specific block. I had my cutely wrapped baby shower gift in my car's back seat.  I was looking forward to this shower because I would be seeing old friends with whom I didn't get to spend much time with anymore.

It was an easy scenic drive from Seattle on I 90 East.  I crossed the sparkling waters of Lake Washington over the floating bridge. The majestic mountains covered with dark evergreens loomed in the foreground. I loved this route. However I was glad I wasn't going to have drive over those mountains that day. My exit was a few miles before the start of the ascent up the steep hills.

 I exited I-90 and turned onto Samammish Way. I'd crossed this road many times on my way to COSTCO and also to Marymoor Park.  After I made a left turn the voice on the GPS directed me to make a U-Turn.  Now why would I make a U-turn when I was on the correct road? I kept driving. However when we passed an intersection the voice said again to make a U-Turn. Several times I talked to the voice as if there was a person sitting in the car with me. I don't know why you are saying to make a U-Turn something must be wrong with you. I kept driving ignoring the voice  because I had seen the Samammish Way signs. The baby shower invitation said the house was on Samammish Way. I kept driving, enjoying the scenery. I drove into an upscale residential neighborhood. This was my first visit to this house. I slowed down to find the address on the outside of the house.

I saw the balloons. I found a parking place and got out of the car.  Cheerful chattering voices  greeted my approach to the house. I started walking quickly but something made me slow down. These  voices didn't sound familiar.  As I was walking to the house I came to the realization that even though there was a party happening there it was probably not the event to which I was invited. I saw people I did not know.

I got back in my car and called my friend who was at the baby shower. I told her I was on Samammish Way but could not find the house.  She gave me some landmarks I should see, which I didn't see. We came  to the conclusion I was in the wrong place. How could that be?  I was on Samammish Way.  What I  didn't know until that very moment was that I was on East Samammish Way. I should have been on West Samammish Way. I didn't even know a West Samammish Way existed because I had never driven there. It's actually a loop around the Lake.

Then. it all made sense. The GPS signal was correct all along. I was wrong. There was nothing it could do to help me because I wouldn't listen to it or follow its directions. Isn't this like life and wisdom. When our minds are made up and closed nothing anyone tells us can help us because we think we know what we are doing.

I gave the search engine the right information. However,  I wouldn't trust it or even stop to think why it would "deliberately" lead me astray.  As I think over my life I know there were times my parents or some other more knowledgeable person has tried to guide me and I've ignored their wise words. If only I had listened I  could have saved myself endless troubles. My Bible tells me "Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances."*
Counsel works if you follow it.  Hearing good advice was ineffective for me because I wouldn't follow it. I started up my GPS again, followed the directions and got to my destination. "It pays to follow wise words.

*Proverbs 11:14 Message Bible